Today Layla and I were at the playground and I took her down the slide. It was a tough climb up, two big steps, carrying a 20-pound infant. (Plus being 40 pounds overweight myself!) Then to lower myself down in ill-fitting jeans, holding her without slipping, it probably burned a few calories. I was reminded of workout tips on all the weight loss shows about making workouts fun, I kind of get what they mean about non-traditional workouts. Anyway, we went down the slide, and once we landed, I turned around and let her look at the slide, and that was when she smiled. After seeing that, I would have climbed up and slid down for the next 12 hours, as long as she smiled every single time. Writing this down can't explain fully how I felt! She is just so amazing. There were hard times the first few months, but now every day is better than the last.

Since we moved, my urge has been getting stronger and stronger to write. I used to want to write adult fiction, now I want to write and illustrate children's books. I love reading to Layla, and I see some books with storylines or phrases I disagree with, or drawings that I could easily do. I just need to practice my craft. Doodle and draw and get back into the groove of things, and also get an idea of what kind of animals and what kind of storylines I want to do. You can do a story that teaches a lesson, or take the easy way out and do colors, 123, ABC, or parts of the body with cute pictures. Of course Eric Carle is inspiring, with his gorgeous and creative collages. There are so many mediums to choose from, watercolor, sketch, acrylics, pastels...like I said I just need to get into it. I'm just SO scared of actually doing something. That's another feeling I can't articulate, like if I actually did have an idea and wrote out a book with pictures, then what? It's just so terrifying. I checked out a bunch of Judy Blume books from the library, I wonder if I could write books like that? That tell a good story and appeal to a certain group of people. I would have to figure out my demographic...just so much to think about. I really have to MAKE time to write and draw.

I feel bad that I've neglected blogging during Layla's first year. Here she is TEN months old and I haven't even posted once a month. I had a 9 month update that was never completed, I'll just change it to her 10 month newsletter.